Born Again

I'm pretty sure I overexerted myself yesterday. Getting up this morning was like being Born Again. I don't mean the Christian, God, Jesus, Holy Ghost, Born Again, I mean literally being Born Again. Having to leave a warm, comfortable, carefree place of rest and relaxation (my bed), being forced into the cold environment in an extremely uncomfortable position (standing) and having to painfully use muscles that had never been used before, made me realize why newborn babies immediately start screaming after this experience.

It feels like every muscle in my upper body has been pulled. Is that even possible? My finger muscles even hurt. I obviously have a lot of muscles in my back and upper arms that are reserved only for emergencies because I don't think they have ever been used before.

I explained all this to my wife this morning as I was getting up. She generally gets up about twenty minutes after I do but I thought she would appreciate an early notice of my condition. Clearly unimpressed, she mumbled, "You’ll be fine" and rolled over.

I made it to work today by walking like a 120 year old man in imminent danger of cracking in half and bursting into a poof of dust.